The maintenance sub-committee have put forward a motion to sacrifice the treasurer this Easter weekend in place of the normal trainee offering to the deities of good weather and calm seas. The move was made by some of the most influential members of the club when they discovered that the man in question works for the much abhorred “Revenue Commissioners”.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that the man in question was also behind the cruel April Fool’s joke at the weekend whereby it was suggested that the club boathouse and everything in it had been destroyed by fire. The club Equipment Officer was heard to say through a flood of tears “it brought the nightmares of last year rushing back”.

We can confirm there was of course no fire at the weekend.